Derek MEREDITH Obituary

Dear Dad, memories of the last time we were together flood my mind tonight. 1 year on, and yet in my head, everything that happened the night we lost you is still so vivid and clear. I have never been so gutted since Pete's death, as I was the nights I lost you and later in the year, Mum. How cruel life seems, to let us love so deeply and care beyond all else, just to have it all taken away so quickly. Dad, things are not the same now. My life seems to lack reason and purpose now. You and Mum meant the world to me, and to have that world taken away has crippled me from knowing who I am, and where my life should be going, yet those are the very things you gave me when you were alive. I'm so lost. You were both the best friends I ever could have had, as well as being my parents, and I have never felt such ongoing pain as I do right now. It's always there, just beneath the surface of a smile or hidden behind my seemingly coping exterior. I still find myself crying a lot in private. It doesn't take much to trigger me. I wish I could hold you both just one more time, but even if I could, I could never make it last long enough. I just can't let go. I don't want to let go. I'm not ready and don't think I ever will be. Tonight I found myself reliving, moment by moment, your last hours, searching still, for something that I could have done that might have changed the outcome. I realize however, that I am just being crazy. Nothing can change. God, if only we could have back all the good years, the laughter and the happiness we shared as a family. Rest peacefully Dad. One day I'll see you both again. xoxox

Goodmorning, this morning I woke up I must have been dreaming about you both as I could picture you both so vividly in my mind. I know you are both so happy now ..out of pain ..with your loved ones . I do want you to know you both are in our hearts , we love you .....Say hello to my mom and dad and sister. hugs

Aunt Diz and Uncle Derek, I know heaven is not too far from us, I see you up there with Mom and Dad all of you back together watching over all of us here in the U.S.A. and New Zealand. with all of you there I know you can make us all strong. we have so many angels around us. Lisa, I know its so hard every minute of every day. but we have to live thru it and pray we live as long as they did. Your parents lived a good life you tooksuch good care of them. they were so blessed to have a wonderful daughter life you. Now is your time to live. take each morning and reflect on the love they had for you and vice versa. then smile know they are happy ,out of pain and with the ones they loved, Granny is there too all happy.. remember you all are loved here in the U.S.A. also. we are family we are blood and it runs deep and strong. APlease find some peace in your heart if only for a moment.
Love you all so much.
Love Heather

Missing you and Mum so much! Who could have EVER imagined life without you here? Certainly not me! I still have days where this is all some big nightmare I'm living. How could I have started the year with both parents and end the year with none? I want to scream at how unfair this all is, but I realize this is, ironically, life, but man it sucks at times. I guess it could have been worse and I am thankful that it wasn't, but I have moments where it all now seems so pointless, but maybe that's just part of regrouping and finding strength again. Miss you Dad. Give Mum a big hug, kiss and little "huggy-dance" from me, just like we use to do whenever I had to come home from our visits. I miss it all! :(

Thinking of you Lisa and family.
Alison.

Hi Dad. I guess you had a very special delivery on Sunday morning. Mum's body decided it was time to let her soul free to come be with you. I hope it was a joyous reunion for you both, and that you are both young again and in love all over again. It was all so sudden, the departure. Sue and I had such a lovely time with her on Tuesday and Wednesday, 12 & 13 August. We gave her an early Birthday treat, and took her to the music and dance show at Kerikeri theatre. It was possibly the first 'girl's night out the three of us have ever shared together. We never could have imagined that such a wonderful week would end in so much sorrow.

I got the call at 2:09am on the 17th, telling me that Mum had passed away. I was shocked. Just couldn't believe it! It had to be a nightmare...it can't be real!! Johnson came with me and we drove to the rest home. They let us in and sure enough, it was all true. :( She had been tidied by then and put back into her bed in a restful position. I just cried and cried. She must have fallen at some point because her eyebrow was cut and her eyelid was turning black with bruising

Dad, I tried my best to look after Mum. I really did. It seems like it just all became too much for her and she wanted to be back with you.

Now I have a strange situation - a large part of my life gone, and an empty hole to fill with something but I don't know what. All I know is that the time between your leaving and Mum leaving was very short.

Missing you both so much. Loving you Always. xox

Again I'm floored at how fast time is passing Dad. It's 5 months on the 3rd August since you left us. Today I feel very empty and disillusioned with my life, and I long to be back in the days when I could turn up at home, share a cup of tea with both you and Mum, and come chat with you while you worked in your workshop. You are my parents, but beyond that you are my best friends. I can't get use to not having you here Dad, and Mum misses you a lot too. I had a special canvas photo of you made and hung it up for her on Thursday. She was talking about you tonight, admiring your smile in the photo. You have that adorable cheeky amused look on your face, the one you use to make before saying something funny to make us laugh. Stay near Dad. We need you. xox

Miss you Dad. Mum had her cataracts done a week ago. It was confusing and tricky for her for a few days, but she'd doing better now. We knew you were with us the day of the surgery, as you showed us your surname to let us know everything would be alright. Of all the magazines that were on the waiting room table, I offered Mum THAT one, without knowing what was inside. and there it was....our family surname printed in large font, over some advertisement for clothing. It stood out clear as anything, and I showed Mum, telling her that you were letting us know that you must be watching over things, and to not worry. Thanks Dad. You're good at sending these cryptic signals, but then I'd expect that from you too! :) Love you Dad. x

I misplaced the link to this page and rediscovered it today.. I was just thinking of Dad and the nice picture of him with Glennis made me feel sad and realise that I miss him lots. I haven't been able to shed a lot of tears for some reason, I'm not the crying type I suppose, but my heart is hurting today because a piece of it is up in Heaven. Love you Dad X

It's me again Dad. The 6th of June was the 70th commemoration of the D-Day landings in Normandy; "Operation Overlord", in which you took part. It was another sad occasion for me, as it reminded me of all I had planned for us this year. Our shared interest in your war service was a bond that I will always respect, honour and cherish between us Dad. Every year I would find yet another bit of information on the Operation to share with you. You would have enjoyed all that I managed to find this year. I finally found a good copy of the book you wanted, "The History of the RAF Servicing Commando". It is well written and I get a very clear picture of what it was like for you while serving in your unit. I only wish I could have had this to show you before you left us. I'm also reading the true story of an English pilot shot down over France during the D-Day landings, who survived the crash but then had to avoid being captured by the enemy. Again it brings home to me, how at risk you all were during the Normandy operation. I really wished we'd talked more about it. I also found my way around Normandy today, using google maps. It would have been something you would have enjoyed seeing I'm sure. I think I found the fields where the SCU's set up their airfield, and found old footage of the big earthmovers and graders flattening out the land, and I keep thinking about the fact that you were there somewhere, then come back to the same fields today, so peaceful, quiet, and pretty in the French countryside. I watched the News on the 6th June, as they showed the few remaining servicemen who attended the special 70th commemoration services, and find myself feeling so sad, because it was something that I was looking forward to sharing with you. I have found many documentary specials on the 70th commemoration, and many great additional documentaries about various aspects of the operation. I know you would have really enjoyed seeing them. I watch them, but it's not the same now; not being able to ask you questions. Everything now, is all about my ability to research and piece the jigsaw together myself, which will never be quite the same as hearing it from you first hand.

Dad, please keep watching over Mum. She needs you, and misses you terribly. Her memory has deteriorated a bit since you left us, but we are still coping not too badly all things considered. She has a cold right now, which we need gone before the end of the month, because I am taking her to get her cataracts done in the hopes it will give her a better quality of life in these twilight years she has left. Please send down your love can care to her, and a little for me so that I can keep doing what I do.

Dad I miss you so much. I hope the 'Great Mechanic in the sky' welcomed you to his workshop and showed you how we are all parts of a larger vehicle called love, and that love never dies.

Taking a coffee break in the Autumn sun this afternoon and started thinking about you. I have in hand a cup of coffee and a gingernut cookie and a memory from my youth. I use to have to wait in the tea room of the garage after school until you were ready to run me home. While waiting in that warm sunny tea room, I would notice things - the Rogers and Meredith calendar on the wall; maybe a spark plug or set of points and a handful of bolts laying on the table; a newspaper, well-thumbed at times with dusty/oily residue from well used mechanics fingers; The aroma of toast made at lunch, luke warm teapot still sitting on table; and yes...a plastic barrel of gingernut cookies. They were never my favorite, BUT I was always allowed to have one while I waited, and because of that, and the memory I have of you Dad working at the garage, I still buy gingernuts for my pantry and always have. It's amazing how it's all the little things that make up the bigger picture of the Dad I love and miss.

I was just pondering the last time I hugged you Dad. It was Thursday 27th February at about 8:30pm, and I was saying good night after escorting you and Mum back to your room at the rest home, and was about to head back home to Kawakawa. I remember noticing how fragile you felt in my arms and that I could not hug you tightly like in the old days. 93 had finally caught up and was slowing you down, but I always thought you would see your 94th birthday. Love you Dad. Think of you often. xox

Dear Dad, I feel like I'm running on 'empty' right now, with no spare gallon to get me home. :( Please shine a light into my darkness.

I wish we could see you one more time
come walking through the door
But I know that is impossible
We will hear your voice no more.
I know you can feel our tears
and you don't want us to cry
Yet our hearts are broken
because we can't understand
why someone so precious had to die.
I pray that God will give us strength
and somehow get us through
As we struggle with this heartache
that came when we lost you.

Days keep on rollin' Dad. 6 weeks now. I'm a little tired and lost, but still doing what I need to do. Thanks for the smile you gave us in Okaihau on Sunday - yes, I recognized the song the significance, and the timing of it. All of Mum's flowers and banana palms are still growing in the bush, and the driveway is just the same, with the same old letter box and even the knackered old steel gate still hanging from when those idiots tried to drive through it. The memories of living half way down the Waihau Hill are still vivid and endearing to me. We had some great times there, eh Dad?! I think a part of you will always be on that spot. Mum and I miss you lots and we always take you with us when we go on our outings. You would have liked lunch in Mangonui a couple weeks ago. Found a nice quiet spot on a reserve overlooking the water on a lovely sunny day. Even Mum said "Dad would have liked it here". Hugs to you Dad, where ever you are.

It's one month today (3rd April) since you left us Dad, yet for me it feels like time has stood still since I last saw you. It only feels like yesterday that we were with you at the hospital, talking before you were wheeled away for your operation. How quickly time steals away from life's 'events', leaving us dumbfounded of how all this could have turned out so very sadly. Miss you Dad. xox

Hi Dad. Today (26th March) was going to be the day I presented you with your 'special longevity trophy' - the real thing made in silver with name plate engraved and everything, to celebrate your 94th Birthdays but would have been amused to get a trophy all the same! I know you weren't big on birthday's, but 94 was really gonna be something worth fussing about in my books. However the plan changed on us a bit didn't it, and instead of a trophy, I will be picking Mum up from the rest home and we are going to go have a special lunch treat somewhere nice, and have cake to remember your birthday anyway. I'm going to buy two helium filled balloons and we will go somewhere special and release them for you. Mum's memory loss is continuing to be a challenge but we will find ways to work around it. She misses you a lot Dad, and I know she has a little cry at times. I also know you are giving her the love she needs to get by, because when we talk about you she is strengthened. The loneliness is hard for her. I phone her every night to help her with her routine and she does okay with a little help and reassurance. As for me...I don't know. Lots of ups and downs. I'm doing my best I guess. Taking each day as it comes, and holding no expectations. Small miracles can happen when you hand over all your fears and worries to God, and that's pretty much what I've chosen to do, even though I know you weren't much into that train of thought. Perhaps you found differently when you left us. I remember during one of our debates, you saying that if you got there and found you were wrong, you'd be prepared to say sorry. lol. I kinda hope it worked out that way! Love you Dad. Happy 94th Birthday - have a wee dram with Pete, Lil', Al, Ron, Ellen and the rest of the family and friends, and know we will be thinking of you here on Earth, and having a wee dram too. xoxox

Dear Uncle, how is heaven? were you greeted by my mom and dad? give them a huge hug for me.please watch over the family and visit them in their dreams, It will bring them peace in their hearts. we love you , anyway I just wanted you to know we in America have you in our hearts ..

Miss you Dad. This sadness keeps coming in waves I'm afraid. I've been thinking back over this whole sad event, which I suppose is a normal thing to do, and I'm so glad that you got to speak with Mum on the Sunday on my mobile, but I really regret that we didn't call her up again on the Monday before you actually went in for surgery so that you could talk to each other. Just wasn't thinking straight, Dad. I'm sorry for that. I try to console myself that your chat with each other on The Sunday seemed to be a happy one, despite your intense discomfort/pain. It was lovely to hear you reassuring Mum, who was without doubt worried and scared about where you were and what was happening. Mum is doing ok so far, Dad. She's a little bit scared at times, but I'm working on ways to help reduce her anxiety naturallly. I put up one of her four leafed clovers that I had sandwiched in glass, next to her Scottish calendar, and hung the beautiful prayer beads that Sue brought home for her from the Holy City, so I'm hopeful she will find these symbols comforting and feel protected again. I think that whatever works to bring her a sense of peace and safety is what we should do.

Anyway Dad, the days are lonely not hearing your voice on the phone anymore. Even while you battled with your inner self, and spoke bleakly about how you felt, there was still something reassuring in just knowing you were there and that Mum had such a loyal and loving person watching out for her, even if you sometimes over-protected. I could understand your fears Dad, but also saw that by letting go, even just a little, you could have given yourself a break from the stress and helped Mum to integrate more with the people that would eventually be looking after her. So sad that we didn't get to an equal understanding with that. Still, you did your best, and I will never forget your loyalty in being there for my Mother as she traveled the Alzheimer's road. I can only hope that my efforts to help will show you that Mum is stronger and sharper than you know, and that the Scottish warrior gene is going to keep her lifted!

Mum has been joining in with evening TV viewing in the communal lounge, chatting with others, so she has not been too much alone. She was watching an Irish themed movie on St Patrick's day, and told me that it made her think of you. :) But I think she remembers you a lot.

I am getting your medals mounted properly Dad. Planning to wear them on ANZAC Day this year. I know you were too humble to wear them in public, but you had every right to wear them, and I am proud of your military service! So I will give them their first real outing at any parades. I did take them along two years ago, but just carried them in their envelope because they weren't ready to wear. Even just doing that much brought a tear to my eye, so goodness knows how I will hold it together this year!

Well Dad, it's late. I should go to sleep. Give my love to Pete, Lily, Al, Ron, Ted, Ellen, and my Grandparents and the others. I hope it's nice and relaxing wherever you are. xox

Hi Dad. I think you'd be pleased to know that your funeral on Monday was a wonderful tribute to your unique personality, your wonderful sense of humour, and to the love that your family and friends feel for you! I saw a number of faces from the past there which delighted me and the general feedback I have had was that it was one of the best funerals they'd attended - if that makes sense?! :) I think we owe that to the sense of humour that has obviously passed down to your children and grandchildren! It was most definately a celebration of a life well lived Dad. You had such vast array of experiences from growing up in Waterford; to your time in Waterford; to embarking on the big shift to New Zealand; and the making of a life and a family here! As cousin Bill suggested, you should be very pleased with the journey you mapped out. Mum held up well all things considered, and even had a giggle at some of the stories we shared! I had them play one of your tunes that you recorded for me. "Sailing". It somehow seemed very appropriate. I know it was nearly 6 minutes long, but I couldn't bring myself to cut it back at all, so we listened to all 6 minutes, and your audience even clapped you at the end! :) Dad, at the end, when we took you out to the hearse, your Great-Grandchildren and Step-Grandchildren, from Gareth's line performed a very passionate Haka for you! It brought many to tears, and I even saw your Gt-Grandson, Te Hau with tears streaming down his face as he performed. THAT is a sign of the love and respect that we all felt for you Dad. The youngest generation know the fabric that you were made from, and we will continue to speak your name and tell our stories and history to them.

I uplifted your ashes yesterday, and you are now safely at home again. I checked with Johnson and he is perfectly fine with that, so you can rest easy. The family will be making plans later in the year to give you a place to rest permanently, but until then, you and Pete are hanging out together.

I went to see Mum yesterday because she was sounding a bit lost and confused the night before when I phoned. We had a good visit, and I think she is going to be ok Dad. She went off to a music concert in the rest home 'hall', and I met up with her afterwards and helped seat her for lunch. She really enjoyed the music and I think it helps her to be involved like that. Last night when I phoned I couldn't get her, so called the nurse on duty to check on her whereabouts. She was in the communal living room watching TV, so I told them not to bother her, and I called her about an hour later and she seemed chirpy and had enjoyed TV and the company sitting there with her. I really don't think you need to worry - she is a lot stronger than you imagine. Women are like that. :)

Well Dad, I'll head off into my day and get some stuff done. There is a big storm coming in this weekend! I'm so glad that the weather was perfectly good while we had to take you to hospital and throughout having lost you through to the funeral. It would have been scary to have to deal with that in rough weather as well, so thanks for the amazing timing! You always WERE keenly watching the weather forecasts and the king of sunshine and warmth! xoxox Back later.

To dear Lisa and family, thinking of you all.

Alison

Hi Dad. Having a bit of a low moment. I guess I might have a few of those over the years to come. Sometimes I wish I could rewind the 'tape' of life, and see if we could have done things differently for you and Mum, but I suppose the journey is not for any of us to decide. I feel torn or somehow cheated; as if someone is responsible for our losing you, yet I also feel relieved that you didn't suffer and humbled that Sue and I were able to hold you close and share that amazing moment when you decided to go. I know it was difficult for you - you were so worried about Mum, but we both promised you we will be there for her and do everything we can to make sure she finds strength to cope without your physical presence. I'm sure you will be watching out for her spiritual wellbeing. We work as a team! - Remember! Missing you Dad. xox

We will miss you ...

My dear Uncle ,
Even though we were countries away we loved you .. you left such an vivid impression on us American children. you accepted us into your home ,showed us love .Its been 40 something years since I have traveled abroad but my memories of you are like it was yesterday. I know you will be missed very much . your legacy will live on here in America I will keep telling my grandchildren about you and the things I remember so they can pass those stories on to their grandchildren. so even though you have left us on earth you will never leave out hearts. Please kiss my mother and father while there. look down from heaven and smile... when we see a rainbow we will know you are around. I love you .

It's a beautiful day Dad, just the kind you loved; lots of sunshine and blue sky; yet my heart is sad and I feel empty knowing you aren't here. I'm so sorry that these last years of your life were not as you ever planned or wanted. I know your spirit broke in 2009 because of all that had happened and the changes you had to accept. You struggled deeply to see any bright side to life after that, and I think my heart broke alongside yours at that time too. There has not been a single day since, that I've not searched my mind trying to find answers and solutions that might have given you back what was lost, but the reality is, that it was too late.

I tried hard to help you and Mum feel even just a little bit normal in your new surroundings, but we never hit the mark. For that, I'm sorry Dad. If I could have given you and Mum peace of mind, I would have.

I know you have been worried and actually scared about how things would be for Mum if you 'went first', and my promise to you remains, that I will do everything I can, to make sure Mum is safe, well cared for, and if I can swing it, happy too. She's very lost without you right now, but you told me she would be. Maybe as time passes her pain will lessen, and only the happy times will remain.

I'm trying to write something to say at your Funeral on Monday, but I feel stuck because there is so much more I know of you than can ever be said in just a few minutes. Distilling it down to an essence will be my challenge. I wonder what you would want to tell them if you were able? I feel you would say "What the hell is everyone making all this fuss about!?" but then I would say to you, "We only ever fuss over things and people that matter - YOU MATTER!".

I miss you so much. I've a feeling I will be seeking your guidance a lot, so feel free to chime on into my head anytime you like.

BTW, your cat Minny is here right now rubbing around my legs...I think she wants me to say hello and headbonks!

Back again later.

MEREDITH, Derek Henderson Born 26-03-1920. Passed away on 03-03-2014. How can I ever explain with words how much you meant to me? You have been my rock, my teacher, and my hero, always! Life has many seasons, and I'm honored and glad that Johnson and I had the opportunity to help you through your 'Winter'. May your spirit be free and happy Dad. See you on the otherside! x With greatest love and respect. Lisa and Johnson

MEREDITH, Derek Henderson Born 26-03-1920. Passed away on 03-03-2014. Musician and boat builder extraordinaire. We'll always remember your humour, your music, and your enthusiasm for your many 'projects'! Dad, you'll be sorely missed. Sue and Ron, Gareth and Billie, Virgil and Amy, Duncan and Debbie, and your many great-grandchildren. Rest easy till we meet again. Love you.